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Monday, 15 May 2017


-         By Bashorun J.K. Randle FCA; OFR

At the risk of telling you what you all already know, permit me to prophesisethat today is not only a divinely ordained and blessed day (28th April 2017) in Marrakech, Moroccoby the abundant beneficence of the Almighty, it is also an occasion which is a defining moment that we shall all cherish for the rest of our lives as we celebrate the wedding of Banke Kuku to her soulmateOlusola Lawson.
It is a marriage made in heaven and our prayer is that it shall be so; and that the two hearts shall become one soul as they navigate the sometimes choppy water and occasional sandstorms of marriage; and savour the serenity and joy for which we are here to solicit the intervention, guidance and protection of the Almighty on their behalf.
Before we proceed much further, I have the witness statements from an eminent lawyer Rita(who was recently nominated as a candidate for the Court of Appeal) the mother of the bride who is here with her spouse Major-General Chris Garba (Retired).
There is no need to cross-examine OlorogunDr. Sunny Kuku and his wife Susan as Dr. Kuku has already testified that it was of his own free will that he gave his consent to the marriage.
As for Mr. and Mrs. Kolapo Lawson, the parents of the groom, the court must disregard the evidence of King’s College Old Boys who claim that in 1962 when Kolapo entered King’s College, Lagos and Sunny Kuku was in the Lower Sixth Form, they entered into a pact – namely if Sunny refrained from imposing any punishment on Kolapo, Kolapo would in due course ensure that one of his sons would marry one of Sunny’sdaughters. The Court is not persuaded by hearsay or circumstantial evidence. We have the proof before us!! This is indeed solid evidence particularly as the betrothal was preceded by a superlative dinner last night at Jade MahalResturant and Nightclub.

The Court has been reliably informed that Olorogun Dr. Kuku threatened not to show up for the pre-nuptials unless the belly dancers were allowed to perform their super-charged erotic dancing.
It is not the business of the Court to speculate on how those men who have been married for upwards of forty years managed to cope with the temptations on display and come to terms with the curvaceous plus plentiful flesh, with the belly as the median, without incurring the wrath of their wives. Those husbands who claimed that they focused their attention on what was above the belly were not treated more leniently than those who admitted to yielding to the full McCoy. They were in a trance while the belly-dancing was in full swing.
The Court has taken judicial notice that four erring husbands were shown the RED card by their wives and are already on their way home back to Nigeria and other places as punishment for looking where they were not supposed to look. Under Section 419 of the criminal code of Morocco, the offence is known as “reckless lookery”.
Incidentally, among the records of the Court is evidence that when Olusola first set eyes on Banke at the wedding of Mr. & Mrs. OlaoluAkerele in London, the first offence he committed was “lookery” followed by a daring plan to “hit and run”. Banke being the smart lady that she is promptly introduced him to her older brother Folarin (my godson) who was at the time an officer in the British Army serving in the elite Grenadier Guards after duty stints in Iraq and Afghanistan. Folarin did not need to brandish his service weapon to put the fear of God and severe punishment into Olusola if he were to attempt to mess with his darling sister. The rest is now history.
Here is Mark Twain’s verdict on marriage:
“ Love seems the swiftest, but it is the slowest of all growths. No man or woman really knows what perfect love is until they have been married a quarter of a century.”
(Notebook, 1894)
Perhaps I should add the paraphrase of his letter to Olivia Langdon (dated 8 September 1869)in anticipation of marriage
“….will be the mightiest day in the history of our lives, the holiest, & the most generous toward us both - for it makes of two fractional lives a whole; it gives to two purposeless lives a work, & doubles the strength of each whereby to perform it; it gives to two questioning natures a reason for living, & something to live for; it will give a new gladness to the sunshine, a new fragrance to the flowers, a new beauty to the earth, a new mystery to life; it will give a new revelation to love, a new depth to sorrow, a new impulse to worship. On that day the scales will fall from our eyes &we shall look upon a new world.”
He added for good measure in a letter to Clara Spaulding(dated 20 August 1886):
“There isn't time - so brief is life - for bickerings, apologies, heartburnings, callings to account. There is only time for loving and but an instant, so to speak, for that.”
The late Chief AdeyemiOlusola Lawson, the grandfather of the groom, deliberately named him “Olusola” which is both a supplication to the Almighty as well as an acknowledgement of his faithfulness and abundant blessings.
On this joyous occasion, both Chief Lawson and his darling wife Chief (Mrs.) Ibidun Lawson who is my favourite mother-in-law, have sent the newly wedded couple the following message of goodwill as Mama is unable to join us in this celebration. It is a very long message straight from the heart but I have taken the liberty to paraphrase it as follows:
“Marriage is about love and trust. It is nourished by prayers and faith as  well as spiritual connection as soulmates. The key to a happy marriage is to woo your mother-in-law to your side. It goes for both the groom (Olusola) and the bride (Banke). As for Banke, don’t ever stop laughing at your husband’s jokes, even if you have heard them over and over again – perhaps a hundred times!!” As for the groom, your wife belongs to every room, not just the other room. Let her have a special room in your heart.”
Let me conclude matters on behalf of my wife Folasade and I by disclosing that by the special grace of God, Banke is our daughter and Olusola is also our son. It was the Almighty himself who conceived, supervised and delivered the matchmaking. No court can challenge the will of God. All that is left for us is to give our sincere thanks and rejoice.

However, there is a pending matter on which the Court must adjudicate. Last night, after the fantastic party I commenced the writing of this speech. I was surprised to discover this morning that all references to my wife as the “sometimes wonderful wife” have been replaced with ALWAYS WONDERFUL WIFE in bold capitals and underlined too.

Regardless of the fact that there is only one other occupant of my hotel room, I refuse to point fingers. Perhaps it was the handiwork of the Holy Ghost.

As the Chairman of this glorious wedding I have been inundated by goodwill messages which I have been asked to read. At the top of the pile are congratulations and good wishes from His Excellency President Muhammadu Buhari; His MajestyMohammed VI, the King of Morocco; His Excellency AkinwunmiAmbode FCA, Governor of Lagos State; and His Royal Highness Oba SikiruAdetona, Ogbagba II, the Awujale of Ijebuland. You must forgive me for singling out the message from the Holy Father, Pope Francis who in his characteristic manner broke protocol by sending the following special homily and benediction:

“Dear Banke and Olusola,

Marriage is about praying together for God’s guidance and you must remain each other’s best friend.

There is no perfect family. We  do not have perfect parents, we are not perfect, we do not marry a perfect person or have perfect children. We have complaints from each other. We disappoint each other. So there is no healthy marriage or healthy family without the exercise of forgiveness.

Forgiveness is vital to our emotional health and spiritual survival. Without forgiveness the family becomes an arena of conflict and a stronghold of hurt.Without forgiveness, the family becomes ill.

Forgiveness is the asepsis of the soul, the cleansing of the mind and the liberation of the heart.

Whoever does not forgive does not have peace in the soul nor communion with God. Hurt is poison that intoxicates and kills. Keeping heartache in the heart is a self-destructive gesture. It’s autophagy.

Those who do not forgive are physically, emotionally and spiritually ill. That is why the family must be a place of life, not death; Territory of cure and not of illness; Stage of forgiveness and not guilt.

Forgiveness brings joy where sorrow has produced sadness; Healing, where sorrow has caused disease.”

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